Trips around the wedding

Planning the bachelorette trip

A bachelorette trip is a group trip with one person carrying it. What goes wrong is the gap between what the group assumed and what was actually agreed. Settle the money, the dates and the list in that order and the rest is easy.

AirConxt is our trip planner. It opens in a new tab. Start a wedding plan on OurNave to keep these three trips on the same checklist as the rest of the wedding.

In order

What to decide, in order

  1. Confirm who is running it

    The maid of honor, by convention. One person decides and the rest are consulted. Do not choose the weekend by group consensus; the lead proposes two dates.

  2. Ask the bride what she actually wants

    How far, how long, how big, and anything she does not want. Ask once, early, in private, and then plan to that answer instead of guessing at it.

  3. Set a per person figure before anything else

    The number decides the destination, not the other way round. Say it out loud to the group before a single date is proposed, and make it easy for someone to opt out of the trip without opting out of the friendship.

  4. Fix the dates

    Propose two options with a deadline to answer, rather than an open question. Keep it clear of the wedding week and clear of the wedding month if you can.

  5. Close the guest list

    Once dates are set, the list stops moving. Late additions are what break the lodging count and the per person figure at the same time.

  6. Book lodging, then travel

    The place everyone sleeps sets the size of the group and the price per head. Book it, then let people book their own way there.

  7. Say how money is handled

    Who pays what up front, what is split, what each person covers for themselves, and how they settle up. Write it in the same message as the booking.

  8. Build the itinerary last

    One anchor per day is plenty. Anything you book that the whole group has to be somewhere for should be booked once the group is confirmed, not before.

Owners

Who does what

OurNave keeps each of these as a task you can assign, so the reminder reaches the person who owns it instead of the couple.

The maid of honor
Owns the trip. Dates, budget, list, lodging and the messages that keep everyone in step. In OurNave this is a task assigned to her, so the reminder goes to her and not to the couple.
The bride
Answers the questions and then steps back. She should not be booking her own bachelorette trip, and she should not be chased for opinions on every detail.
The rest of the party
Answer by the deadline, pay on time, and take one thing each. A group of people each holding one job is faster than one person holding all of them.

Timing

When it happens

Everything below is counted back from your wedding date, which is how the OurNave checklist schedules it.

About five months before the wedding
Your OurNave checklist raises Plan the bachelorette trip here. Assign it to the maid of honor and it moves to her list.
Within a few weeks of that
Budget, dates and the guest list settled, and lodging booked. These are the decisions that get harder the longer they wait.
The last few weeks
The itinerary, and the money settled up. Keep the trip clear of the weeks right before the wedding.

Further reading

All three trips